Updated: Sep 6, 2019
"Look for something positive each and every day. Even during days where it might seem harder to find it, and see the difference."
Have you ever had a bad day, and wondered what might have went wrong for it to be that way?
You may have reasons that can be a logical explanation for it or just simply seem to have a bad day, but did you know that you can go past that too, in order to just let your day go by peacefully, if not well? I'm no miracle worker though, I've gone through days where I didn't even want to get out of bed, let alone my house!
Abuse, Bullying, Peer-Pressure, Shaming, Loss and Heartbreak, our hearts have seen some or many of them at some point. I did too. In fact, I've been through them all. One particular incident that I want to talk about is when I lost my Grandfather 2 months before my wedding day.
It was a huge shock to the entire family. He was a loving, caring and a wonderful human being. I still cannot sleep through nights sometimes whenever I think of the last time I saw him. Holding onto my hand tight and not letting go, when they were taking him into the ambulance after he collapsed.
It hurt. In fact, it still does, and I used to cry so badly whenever I thought or talked about him. He meant a lot to me, and he loved me, my brother and my cousin very dearly. His death shook us and got to us really bad.
My husband, and my friends talked me through the phase where I bawled my eyes out whenever his topic came up. As life made its twists and turns (As usual) I realized with time, that all of those feelings and emotions arise from your mind, and are controlled by your very own thoughts.
So, why not trick your mind into thinking you're okay? Even when you're not. I don't mean to say that you should fake your emotions and pretend you're happy, when things are not okay. But, you can convince your thought process to think another way in order to make you feel better, and heal much faster. It's hard at first, but, once you get the hang of it, it'll be easy and comfortable to do.
Just because you've moved on from the grief or pain, doesn't mean you don't care or are affected by the incident or person. I love my Grandfather and always will have him in my heart and prayers for as long as I live, and beyond. So, how did I get through?
1. Remember, nothing is permanent!
Things may seem exciting, happy, or great at a point in life. Regardless of everything, life will show its share of twists and turn everything upside down at some point. That doesn't mean you can't be happy though! You just have to remember that you should be prepared for the worst of any given situation while being calm and comfortable with the present.
2. Optimism is the key...
Try to begin your day by reading a positive quote, or listening to an inspirational speech. A few quotes that inspire me are "Live, Laugh, and Love." along with "You only live once!".
To me, Live, means to live each day as if it were your last and enjoy the blessings that you have in life. Laugh, means to always have a smile, and make others happy with your positive mind, soul and presence and finally, Love, means to embrace and love yourself for who you are. That way you can share all the love and positivity with others to make them feel good.
A positive start to the day always makes your mind to occupy positive and healthy thoughts for the day.
Make sure you feed your mind positivity in many ways as you possibly can.
3. Be around Positive people...
This is probably one of the most important things to inculcate in your life and is also one of the biggest mistakes people are making these days.
If you have gone through a painful experience, and your companion isn't generous enough to take time and talk to you, or make you feel better, and instead misunderstands you and gives you signs that can possibly make you feel worse, then please let the person feel free to walk right out. If it's not possible to permanently remove them from your life, then at least maintain a good and healthy distance, regardless of how important they are. Trust me, its for your own good.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you to be who you are, and accept you by all means. Spend time with individuals that can help you develop a healthy mind, and soul while developing yourself. Be sure to invest in people who will surely be there for you to try and make you feel better with positive encouragement if you land in trouble.
People who are nice to you, but comment on others, are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
People who are rude to you, and push you down in any way, are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
People who make you feel bad, especially when things are going well for you instead of supporting you, are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
Individuals who are very disrespectful to you, or your choices whether you are present in the room or not, are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
Those who cannot support you and defend you at your time of need, even when you aren't around are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
People who push you into doing things you're not comfortable doing, or use emotional blackmail to get you to do things for them (If it is harmful for you or your well being) are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
None of these types of people should be present in your life, especially if you look forward to having a positive mind or influence.
4. Accept defeat, grief and pain...
This is probably one of the hardest things to do but, as I said, with time it'll get easier. When you lose or are outnumbered by someone else, instead of feeling bad that you lost, be happy for the other person for their glory, and accept it in a positive way.
Remember, not everyone wins all the time. Even the best sportsmen and women have their share in losses, but they never took it to heart, and rose up again in the next series of matches.
When you lose someone by death, or splitting because of differences, remember that everything happens for a reason, and that reason could be for good. The time when my Grandfather passed away, I was hurt and grieving extremely painfully.
With time I realized that if my Grandfather survived the collapse, then he would have been bed-ridden completely. He had already been depressed that he couldn't walk properly, and couldn't stand trips to the hospital or the fact that he always needed support for everything. We wouldn't have lived seeing him go through all of that either.
He had suffered enough, and finally went to a place where he doesn't feel any more pain. I'm sure he is at peace, and that's what makes me feel better about it all. Even though it hurts that he isn't present physically, I know that in spirit, he is always with us no matter what.
Thinking the positive effects of a split from a friend or anyone else can help you heal through the pain. Say, a couple breaks up because they had too many differences that were hurting them.
Sure, love or affection was the reason they got together in the first place, but the fact that they weren't happy with each other anymore, and that they are hurting, brought them to split. It's okay to be mad at someone and still miss them, but think about it this way. If they stayed together, and if things got worse over time.
How would they recover after the worst happens? Same way with a friend. It's better to split and be at peace, than to stay together and suffer through things that are meaningless and a waste of energy.
5. Make yourself busy...
The more you stay alone and idle, the more you tend to drive your mind into negativity. Be it a new hobby, sport, job, etc. Make sure you are occupied with something to do. You know what they say,
"An idle mind is devil's workshop..."
There was a time when I was a housewife and there wasn't much for me to do. I didn't know German well enough to go out and explore much, and the fear of messing up or making a fool out of myself, lead me to sit idle at home for a while.
It's a difficult phase for anyone to go through, let alone housewives at that matter, especially if you are habituated to going out, working or tying new things. That's when I started writing and blogging, and realized how much I missed writing!
Though there are some tough phases in life (Who doesn't have problems??!), I manage to get through by letting all my emotions out into writing, as well as occupying myself with whatever work possible. Be it going out for groceries, hanging out with friends, meeting relatives, household work, or just writing.
Keeping yourself busy, and your mind occupied will maintain a healthier thought process and a stable psychological being in you.
I conclude, by saying that whatever happens in life, you deserve better things, and you surely will be blessed with them with hard work, dedication, a positive mind and a pure soul. Nothing can stop you then! I hope you Have a Nice Day!
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